A Halloween of Swingers and Propositions

After what ended up a terrible Friday, I thought Saturday's full day of events would prove to be something more normal.

Ha, Ha, Ha. Oh, my life.

A manicure and pedicure with my fabulous mother to start off the day, things were off to a smooth start. We hopped over puddles in our sweats to do some last minute costume shopping before our big night out, when the mayhem would begin.

Before our Halloween Saturday night really got started, we attended a Nike/Doernbecher Children's Hospital Charity event in the city. It's an event we go to every year and a great thing for kids. The event chooses six kids from the hospital with various illnesses and pair them up with a Nike footwear designer to create a one of a kind shoe that shows off the child's life and personality.

It's a fantastic project that brings in lots of money for the hospital every year, and a touching event to kick off the holiday season. Each child touches your heart in a different way.

But our night didn't end there, and what happened after definitely wasn't touching.

After the party, we changed in the bathroom and headed out to two Halloween parties in our extravagant, but random costumes. We snuck out to the car without anyone from the charity event seeing us, but I'm not sure how they didn't notice...my mom was wearing a cape.

Photo credit: Maria Bruggere

Halloween party number only consisted of a few old friends and a great hummus and pita spread. It was good to see some old friends, but the party was starting to wind down when we got there, so Mom called the limo she had arranged to take us to the next party.

My friend and I didn't know anyone at the second party we were headed to but just decided to go with the flow, not that we had that much choice. Upon entering the party, the first people I spotted when we walked in were a very tall man dressed as a sultan and a female belly dancer with great abs and a veil over her mouth. Their costumes were great. Actually, all of the costumes at the party were great and it was also full of people who were 30 an older, so not really anyone I could relate to. Too many couples costumes.

My mom and her friends wandered off to get into trouble and my friend and I decided to post up in a corner and watch the action. That's when a man with an accent in a dark grey pinstriped suit and fedora approached us. We made the usual (he was drunk) small talk with him and then he started to ramble on about all sorts of things we couldn't understand. Entertained, we didn't hate it.

That's when his supposed "roommate" walked up to us in a homemade costume (he didn't even know what he was) and started talking to us as well. Roughly five minutes after that, a woman dressed as a flapper walked up to us, but didn't really say anything and kept looking at my friend and I. So I turned to her and jokingly said, "Do you know this guy?" and pointed to Mr. Pinstripes. His roommate goes, "Yeah he does, that's his wife!"

Ehhh....what?

She didn't seem pleased, nor did she seem upset, and eventually walked away. At some point the other two guys did too, and my friend and I made our way to the couch on the other side of the room.

However, it wasn't long before Pinstripes made his way back over to us. This time he meant business. He was really trying hard to flirt with both of us and we did nothing but laugh. "The belly dancer is attracted to me," he said.

"That's because she is a swinger," I replied. I figured he knew this. I knew this and I didn't hardly know a single person at this party. Not that it was hard to figure out. They were like two lions looking for zebras. Apparently that freaked Pinstripes out and wasn't something he was interested in.

"How about we all go to the basement," he then said.

I look at my friend, she looks at me, and we both say back to him, "So you aren't interested in this swinger chick but you want to take us to some dark, cold room when your wife is at the same party?"

Apparently he did.

I know he was drunk, but I think he may in fact be stupid as well.

He was really serious about the three of us going somewhere. I knew my friend probably hadn't been in a situation like this before (and let's be honest neither have I, but people have asked me some pretty interesting things over the years that I have quickly turned down), but we couldn't do much else but laugh. There was no way this was ever going to happen, even if the world was ending tomorrow. For starters, the both of us were too and also just plain not interested.

Minutes that felt like years went by and he wasn't giving it up. The belly dancer moved through the background behind him, still lingering for her prey. A red head dressed as Eve passed out on the couch next to me, and time just seemed to go on and on.

Then, finally, his wife shows up again. Thank you God. She was quicker to call him out on his drunkenness this time and also didn't act surprised, which meant that it must happen a lot. He was not eager to get up and follow her out. Not quick at all. He kept staring at me, and I'm staring at his wife, and she's looking and me and looking at him. It was so awkward at this point I nearly escorted him out because he just wasn't getting up.

After that was over, I realized I still had fear that the swingers were coming after me next. Not long after that, Mom realized we were ready to go, so my friend and I got a head start to the limo. We get in and guess who follows us, the Sultan Swinger and a dude dressed as a female cheerleader.

Not funny at this point.

We quickly looked at each other and non-verbally communicated that we hoped this wouldn't end bad. The swinger dude was in the car! Holy crap.

Finally, the correct people got into the car and we headed home, but not before my mom realized she left her house key in her car that was still in the city, therefore defeating the purpose of a limo.

To end it all, I didn't get home until 4:30 in the morning.

It's safe to say the next Halloween party I go to will be with people I actually know.

Lessons learned: Just because he doesn't have a wedding ring on doesn't mean his wife isn't lingering somewhere in the same room. And just because you are at a friend of a friends house, it doesn't mean that they don't have friends that swing.

It Should Have Been Friday The 13th

Holy Moly. What a day.

I woke up on a mild, but sunny Friday morning looking forward to the day. All I had to do was get through the last few hours of the work week, do my workout, and head to the airport for a weekend away.

I had it all planned out: get off work, go to the gym, pick up a quick, but very healthy dinner to take to the airport, get on a plane and be happy.

If course, even the best paid plans go astray, or something like that.

Photo credit: http://memegenerator.net/instance/24039045

So this is what actually ended up happening...

My amazing co-worker talked me into going to Ikea with her to pick up our client's beds and couch for his new apartment. How bad could that be?

It was ok, but when we realized we were $100 bucks short on the money he gave us to pay for the furniture I ended up fronting the money so we wouldn't have to drive back to the God-awful valley again this week. My co-worker's friend had met us at Ikea to help us get all the boxes from point A to point B, but couldn't fit everything in his car, so we smashed the last piece of the couch into the back of my car. If the couch looks funny on one side, I plead the fifth.

Photo credit: Maria Bruggere

Ok great, we've got the cheap furniture in the car (keep in mind I hate doing this stuff for myself, let alone another person), and drove it back over the hill to drop off.

Fine, everything went fine. I got back into my car and I'd had just over 30 minutes to get to the gym on the west side. I could do this.

I'm driving, I'm cruising, and then my car skids, stops, and the emergency light comes on telling me to "Pull over slowly and safely." WTF. Really? RIGHT NOW? ARE YOU SERIOUS?

So I pull over, put the car in park and get out to check and see if I had a flat tire. No flat tire. I got back into the car and put it in drive, and the entire car locked up. I turn the car off and back on again and everything is fine, no warning light, nothing. So I kept going, still thinking that I was going to make it to my workout, just like I planned.

Then it skids and stalls again, you've got to be kidding me.

This time it says that the motor is too hot. So I turn the car off and on back again and everything appears fine.

This continued to happen seven times for the next eight miles until I finally made it back home. I missed my workout, I was a nervous, sweaty mess from thinking my car was going to explode, and now had to figure out how I was going to get to the airport. Fan-freaking-tastic. What sort of bad karma do I have to deserve this?

Thinking I could catch the ten dollar shuttle down the street, I grabbed my two bags and proceeded to run down my street to catch the shuttle. I had five minutes to go a half a mile with 20 extra pounds of crap attached to me.

I made it. I made the shuttle.

Relieved, but still irritated, I sat next to a woman who did not want to give up the empty seat next to her (the bus was full and her stupid Gap bag was taking up an entire seat, what gives?). The shuttle actually worked out better in a way because it's cheaper and faster since we got to go in the carpool lane.

I arrived at the airport, cruised through security, saw Paris Hilton, and things were finally starting to go smoothly. Improvement noted. I hate a crappy veggie sandwich, made some phone calls, and headed to my gate.

Photo credit: http://haveuheard.net/2010/09/
paris-hilton-to-plead-guilty-to-drug-charges/

As I'm waiting at the gate, thinking we are supposed to board in 10 minutes, there isn't even a plane present. I figured it had been a few minutes late and took a seat with the rest of the people. Then I really started to wonder where the sucker was as it was after our takeoff time and there was still no plane.

Finally, I got up to look at the board, and we are not scheduled to take off until 10:30.

Is today a joke? Bad dream? Halloween prank? C'mon.

I was tired, cranky, annoyed, and now confused. Why did today happen like this?

I just pray that after I finally get on the plane that nothing else happens, at least not until tomorrow.






Lesson learned: When in Los Angeles, don't ever think that your car is going to do what you want it to do when you are trying to do something important. Also, try to make as much money as quickly as possible so you don't have to put up with buying other people's cheap furniture.

10 Things No One Tells You Before You Move To LA

When I moved to LA over a year ago I only focused on the positive things — beautiful people, sunshine, and more job opportunities. But I wish someone had told me a few of the harsh realities before moving that might have prevented my chronic honking problem and grocery cart rage at Whole Foods.

These are the things I wish I had known going into this new life:

1.) No matter where you go, 99 percent of the time you will have to pay for parking. They might "validate" but that generally just means you pay a lower price. Even to go to the grocery store you have to get a ticket and have the cashier stamp it. Alternatively, when it is a rare occurrence that parking is free for two hours, they have at least two "security guards" that patrol the lot to make sure no one is parked for longer than two hours. What a sin. But parking security must be such an invigorating job.

Photo credit: http://www.caller.com/photos/galleries/2011/apr/30/buc-days-parade/46988/

2.) Gas is at least 50 cents more than almost anywhere else in the country. I know it's typically really high in Hawaii, but I think L.A. has surpassed even that. Today, it was $4.67 for regular. I want to throw up. We HAVE to drive everywhere we go, it's just not fair.

3.) There are crazy people that walk up and down Sunset boulevard who pretend to be homeless or hungry and in reality, they are neither. For instance, just the other day this scraggly guy came up to my friend and I and asked if we could spare three bucks. After denying him, he walked by again 10 minutes later and invited us to his villa. Wait, what? Five minutes ago you were telling me you couldn't afford to eat. What kind of idiot are you? Please, spare me.

4.) It is never a good idea to move into an apartment in Los Angeles without air conditioning, even if it means cheaper rent. I live in an apartment with no A/C and I was miserable the entire summer. I would sit on my couch trying to enjoy my weekend watching movies and I would do nothing but sweat. It's foul. Go for the more expensive place if it means preventing heat stroke. Trust me.

5.) While there are more jobs in general down here in the land of sun, and you may in fact get a job, you will get paid peanuts. I'm not kidding, your check might as well be Monopoly money. You could get a job in a smaller job market and make more money even if it took you two years of unemployment and living at home. Just be prepared that if you come down here looking to work in a specific industry, you better be well connected or a hard worker, because you'll never get anywhere if you're not.

6.) You will not make as many friends as you think you will make in the first year. I moved to LA hardly knowing anyone my own age and I would say it took a good six months or more before I felt like I had people I could call a "friend." Even today I don't feel like I have made that one friend that you can call whenever. They're all back in my hometown still, living at home, and holding out for that job to get paid twice as much as me.

7.) Trying to organize something fun to do with a group of people is impossible. Everyone work at the same place or go to the same gym, but they might as well live on opposite ends of the Earth, because if you live in Beverly Hills and your co-worker lives in Silver Lake, you can bet your bottom dollar you won't see them outside of the office hardly ever unless it's work related. There's just too much traffic to deal with.

8.) Everyone is doing a cleanse. And I mean everyone, which is funny, because they're also all chain smokers and recovering alcoholics. Yeah, yeah, we get it — you want to appear healthy by drinking vegetables turned into liquid form, but you're still drinking mass amounts of coffee, inhaling each other's cigarette smoke, and stressing out about a lunch meeting like the world is ending. But don't worry, you're still cool. Rock on.

9.) If it's not on your phone, it's not important. Need I say more?

10.) Everyone has a T-shirt company. I can't tell you how many random people I have met in random places and when I ask them what they do the response is, "I have a T-shirt company." That's great and so very entrepreneurial of you, but do you know that you're out there competing with 10,000 other companies that are doing the exact same thing as you? Go back to business school buddy.

So if you are thinking about moving to Los Angeles, or maybe you already have, be aware of these things. They will undoubtedly cross your path at some point during your existence in LA if they haven't already.

Lesson learned: Get to know the natives before you pitch a tent on their land and call it home.

Why I Quit Drinking Coffee

Diets and workout routines come and go, as do the pounds but I always think the sooner you develop a healthy lifestyle the better. Some people cut out soda, some candy, others stop eating high fructose corn syrup.

I quit drinking coffee.

Shocking, I know, but it was suggested to me about three months ago and I was determined to be as healthy as possible, so I gave it a whirl.

I was advised to by my trainer who called caffeine a "drug," which in all truth, is a fact. Without saying too much, he convinced me to give up my morning treat. Instead of coffee, I now drink green tea, and I don't mind it at all.

Photo credit: www.starbucks.com

I know it's confusing when there is a new study out every week saying coffee is good for you. Like most people, I bought into it and started drinking tons of coffee. I totally embraced the coffee culture. In high school I drank mainly mochas and sweetened coffee and then moved on to regular coffee with cream in college.

I was the queen of Starbucks. Everyone knew my mom and I when we walked in to get coffee. Sometimes they would even have it ready by the time we got to the cash register. I bought Starbucks every morning and on several afternoons as well throughout college. I had my own coffee maker, became a Starbucks snob with a gold card, and wouldn't hardly drink anything else. It's actually kind of sad now that I think about it.

For the longest time it never crossed my mind that coffee wasn't particularly healthy. My parents drank coffee all throughout my childhood, it seemed normal. It gave me energy, went well with breakfast, and kept me focused on my schoolwork. What's so bad about it?

I didn't really think my life would improve if I quit drinking coffee, and it's safe to say that I was definitely addicted, but I was wrong. I have more energy and no 2:30 p.m. energy crash.

Photo credit: http://www.yourdrum.com/yourdrum/2007/11/what-the-expert.html

It took me about two weeks to adjust to the lack of caffeine I was ingesting but after that it was smooth sailing. Since quitting, I have had an easier time waking up and I maintain more of a normal energy level as opposed to one that comes and goes.

In general, I try to eat and drink foods that are natural, organic, and raw and I think that going hand in hand with no coffee drinking has given me a renewed sense of liveliness.

Although, there are times where I crave coffee and want it for just a treat, it's easy to talk myself out of it. I understand that most people won't ever quit drinking coffee because it's been apart of their daily routine for so long, but I'm happy I did it. I feel healthier and I know I'm doing something really awesome for myself.

Sometimes changes like this in life are good. It can help revive you in ways you didn't think it would. If there's something you've been doing for a long time that you know you need to change, don't be afraid to change it.

Lesson learned: Sometimes it's the little things that make a big difference.

Music To Heal Your Soul

Today was a crazy day and I didn't get around to writing an amazing blog to write for everyone but I promise tomorrow will be a great post. Until then, I leave you with five of my favorite songs at the moment...

1.) I'll Be Seeing You - Billie Holiday
This song warms my heart, there is nothing 
like great jazz music to heal the soul.

2.) Only You - Ellie Goulding
This young lady is blowing up and she is an 
amazing talent. If she comes to your town, buy tickets, 
you will not be disappointed. She is also dating Skrillex.

3.) Clique - Kanye West featuring Jay-Z and Big Sean (Explicit)
When I saw Kanye and Jay-Z in concert, it 
changed my life, they can do no wrong.

4.) 212 - Azealia Banks featuring Lazy Jay (Explicit)
This chick is crazy but she can make a great song, 
really looking forward to hearing more of her. 

5.) Decisions - Borgore (Explicit)
I have the pleasure of working with this Israeli 
dubstep (EDM) DJ and he's also a comedic genius.

Up and comer:

Not on the list but also one of my favorites who I was fortunate to see at Coachella is Gary Clark Jr. He is often compared to Jimi Hendrix and just recently released his first album. Watching him play the guitar is mesmerizing. He's definitely going to be around for awhile.

Gary Clark Jr.  - I Don't Owe You A Thang

Virgin America is My New Best Friend

The days of flying on a comfortable, affordable airline are long gone, or so we thought.

It's been years since I've been on an airline where I felt like I had enough leg room, a comfortable seat, and great flight attendant service. Fuel is expensive and airlines are always broke, things aren't what they used to be. 

Generally I don't mind flying — going from place to place and sitting on airplanes for an extended amount of time, but it seems that every time I step foot on a plane it's increasingly less comfortable and more rundown. Even international flights have taken away everything that makes an eight hour flight more comfortable. 

I recently went to England and I flew United — so uncomfortable. I was on that sucker for hours in pain, couldn't stretch my legs, my back ached, and I felt very antsy.

I haven't been a fan of United for awhile, but sometimes they are your only option. When I can, I fly Alaska mainly because I fly on the West Coast and they are reliable 99 percent of the time. And I get miles, which add up eventually.

However, I've recently discovered my new favorite airline, Virgin America. It's new, it's stylish, and oh so very comfortable. 

I flew one-way out of Portland for 78 bucks. When I stepped on the plane, I immediately felt like I was somewhere else. Some of the overhead lighting was pink, the seats were black leather, and the staff was hip, friendly, and upbeat. I was in heaven, why aren't all airlines this cool? 

Photo credit: http://www.cellstream.com/intranet/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=240:virgin-america-our-new-1-airline&catid=39:cattravel&Itemid=137

My seat was an aisle seat towards the back of the plane, which I wasn't thrilled about, but it ended up being okay. I managed to get two good hours of sleep in an aisle seat, which was much-needed on a 6:30 a.m. flight. Had I decided to stay awake for the flight, I probably would have been graced with Sports Center on cable and great flight attendant service. 

Regardless of where your seat is on the plane, every seat has it's own personal TV. You have the option of watching TV, movies, cable, music or play a game. Most of it costs money, but the cable and a couple of the games are free. How fancy. 

Prior to takeoff, the pilot came over the loud speaker to make an announcement. He was joking around, but then said that for some reason, they forgot to put gas in the plane, which you could tell freaked everyone out just a little. We ended up taking off roughly 15 minutes later than planned, but he assured us that once the plane was full, that he would get us into the air and "go really fast" to LA. 

Bravo, Richard Branson, you never cease to amaze me. Your planes are fast, employees friendly and professional, and your interior designer is a genius. Well done.

Photo credit: http://www.virginamerica.com/press-release/2012/virgin-america-expands-jfk-psp.html

My experience on Virgin America was above and beyond any other airline I have flown in the last four years. It wasn't a hassle, it was a pleasure. The last time I had this kind of experience was on EVA airlines traveling to Cambodia. On that airline, all of the flight attendants are the same height and they leave you a mint while you're asleep.

Now that I know Virgin America is within my reach, I can fly virtually anywhere with them, and relatively cheaply. This will be my first choice for an airline from here on out.

Lesson learned (aka fun fact): If you fly VIrgin America, and then you tweet about your experience with the airline, they will most likely start following you and tweet back to you. Now that's a great company. 

Offensive Comics and "Wear Black" Campaigns

No one is perfect, but that doesn't also mean at times that one doesn't know better. 

Case and point: University of Arizona's student newspaper, The Arizona Daily Wildcat

On Tuesday, October 16, 2012 the Wildcat published an obviously homophobic comic strip:

Photo credit: http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2012/10/19/1046681/university-of-arizona-student-newspaper-apologizes-for-homophobic-cartoon/?mobile=nc

As you can see, this is a disrespectful comic and it's wrong of the newspaper to publish it. I'm not sure what the students and people overseeing the Wildcat were thinking, not to mention the student that drew the comic, unless he/she was trying to see what he/she could get away with. The good news is that the student has since been let go. 

This issue at Arizona could have a very similar ending to the one Oregon State is hoping for this weekend concerning their "Wear Black" campaign at Reser Stadium for the upcoming football game against Utah.

Several years ago Oregon State had a "Blackout" for a football game and the date landed around Halloween weekend. During the weekend of the football game, there was a fraternity with a noose hanging from a tree that was not taken down after the Halloween festivities, a student who painted his entire body black, including his face and who wore a black afro wig, and then the Oregon State student newspaper published the photo of the student on the front page the following Monday.

The "Blackout" did not bring positive results for the school, but instead sparked a racism discussion and  a ban of the blackout at football games. This upset students as they did not think that the entire University should be punished for a small group of people's wrong-doing, but it only takes one person to ruin a party as we all know. 

My point here is that it has taken Oregon State until now to give the blackout another chance. However, they are calling it the "Wear Black" campaign instead of a "Blackout." The school released statements at a press conference saying they want to be able to trust the students and fans to make appropriate decisions regarding the campaign and that they were going to give everyone another chance.

It took a few years, but after much media coverage from the Oregonian and student requests, Oregon State turned it into a teaching moment, and has finally given the people a second chance, in hopes that they have learned a thing or two. If the weekend goes well, the Wear Black campaign will continue; if not, it may disappear forever. 

I hope that the University of Arizona takes their incident as a teaching moment as well.

They have offended an entire group of people on campus whom I'm sure feel very uncomfortable and even unwelcome at their own University. It's unfortunate that it happened.

This is a moment for the University to look at what has happened and for them to explain to the paper and the student body why it is wrong and why the LGBT community deserves just as much respect as everyone else. 

If I were the editor of The Daily Wildcat, I would write an extensive apology and explanation for what happend and try to communicate that this is not how Arizona wishes to view the LGBT community. 

Colleges and Universities are meant to be places of progress and positive change. They are filled with the country's (and some of the world's) future generation of decision makers. These institutions need to remain places of progress and change, because the last thing we need is to go back to the way things have been in the past. 

If you are a college student, an alumni, or a parent of a college student, be sure you understand this: every human on this Earth, regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation, social status, economic status and beyond, is created equal. No one should ever have hate put on them because of how they were born or what they choose to represent (as long as it's not a serial killer or a child molester). 

I believe in the power of positivity and believe that we can all exist in peace.

Lesson learned: "Be careful of the words you say, keep them soft and sweet, you never know from day to day which ones you'll have to eat." --- K. McCarthy