Last month I felt like I was on the verge of some kind of weird breakdown. I had gotten hung up on September 11, various conspiracy theories, the Syrian war, the Newsroom, and everything else the news had to offer. I wasn't just feeling down on myself, I was feeling down on the world, but that only made me feel worse about myself. Pathetic, I know.
But why?
Because here I sit, in fabulous Los Angeles with a college degree from Oregon State University, work experience in various areas of the entertainment industry, a worldly background, and charisma to boot, and I feel like I can't find a full-time job (that I like) to save my damn life.
I'm not talking part-time job, volunteer work, or internships, I'm talking a job. The 9-5 lifestyle that consists of a salary, benefits, company camaraderie, the whole lot. Sounds easy, right?
When I, and anyone else that was born anywhere from 1985-1992 were told that we would spend all this time in school, go to college, make lifelong friends, and graduate with the knowledge and opportunity to blast into the work force and find a great job paying $40k plus with benefits. We were lied to.
Is it the liars fault that we were lied to? Not at all. Even though we want to believe it, our parents can't predict the future. They couldn't predict that terror would strike us in ways we didn't think was possible. They had no idea the banks were full of terrible people doing selfish things. And they definitely didn't know that most of us would still be living with them at the age of 24 or 25, working part time at Starbucks and part time at Red Robin and living at home.
I visited home recently and realized how many people still live in the town I grew up in and they have part time, minimum wage jobs, and college degrees. See what's wrong with this picture? We are the milennials, we are supposed to be the ones that save the world. We're supposed to be the ones that put a stop to global warming and human rights issues, and vote for the first female president. But so far, we haven't figured much of that out because we are struggling to survive ourselves. Therefore, all the old farts think that we are lazy. HA.
As I sit and think about all of these things day in and day out - about how I can get better every day and how I am going to make a difference, I get frustrated. I know one day I will have a career I love, the family I want, and so on and so forth, but right now it all seems so far away. The milennials went through such a transition in history and we haven't completely made the switch yet. That part we are still trying to figure out.
When I thought I had reached my breaking point a few weeks ago, I finally got enough sleep to snap back into the glass half full skeptic that I am (sort of ironic, I know). And I realized this:
Working a minimum-wage job with a brand new shiny college degree isn't the depressing part. Living with your parents doesn't suck that bad (after all, you did it for the first 18 years or so of your life). But what does suck is giving up. Giving up on your peers, your country, and yourself. If you do all of that, you are sure to live a miserable life.
People have said we are the problem generation. With tattoos, piercings, truck driver mouths, and Miley Cyrus, but we still have many great qualities. Our generation elected the first African-American president. Our generation has brought you things like Tumblr and Facebook (and you're lying if you say you don't like them). And our generation brought you us - we are who we are and we're not really going to ever change no matter what you say, but be grateful, it will be a good thing one day. When the milennials are old and pooping in their adult Pampers, the young people are going to be grateful for us and what we accomplished.
What I'm really trying to say to the people my age (24 or around there) is don't put so much pressure on yourself that you give up completely. Don't crumble into a million pieces and work at 24 Hour Fitness for the next 10 years. Do what you want to do. Get your bills paid, of course, but don't give up what you're passionate about. If no one is going to offer you a real job anyway, make your own. Do it yourself.
I put all this pressure on myself that I have to find the perfect job tomorrow, I have to lose 15 lbs. this week, and that I have to find the man of my dreams and have a baby by next Friday.
That might sound really super crazy to some of you reading this, but believe me, there are a million other 20-somethings out there thinking the exact same thing. In so many ways I want so badly to be perfect that I almost feel like I'm nothing but a lazy piece of crap, but that's not the case! Not even close. I am worth a full-time job, the benefits, the husband, and the family. But Rome wasn't built in a day.
Moral of the story? Take your time. Pay your bills however you need to. Live your life one day at a time. When you lie down at night to fall asleep, think about each thing you did that day to accomplish one step closer to your ultimate goal.
For example:
-- Today I secured a part-time job
-- I started a new writing class
-- I rode my horse
Those are just three things I did today that helped me in various ways move closer to my ultimate goal. Life is supposed to ultimately be something of joy, laughter, and willingness to love.
Try it, I dare you.
