10 Things No One Tells You Before You Move To LA

When I moved to LA over a year ago I only focused on the positive things — beautiful people, sunshine, and more job opportunities. But I wish someone had told me a few of the harsh realities before moving that might have prevented my chronic honking problem and grocery cart rage at Whole Foods.

These are the things I wish I had known going into this new life:

1.) No matter where you go, 99 percent of the time you will have to pay for parking. They might "validate" but that generally just means you pay a lower price. Even to go to the grocery store you have to get a ticket and have the cashier stamp it. Alternatively, when it is a rare occurrence that parking is free for two hours, they have at least two "security guards" that patrol the lot to make sure no one is parked for longer than two hours. What a sin. But parking security must be such an invigorating job.

Photo credit: http://www.caller.com/photos/galleries/2011/apr/30/buc-days-parade/46988/

2.) Gas is at least 50 cents more than almost anywhere else in the country. I know it's typically really high in Hawaii, but I think L.A. has surpassed even that. Today, it was $4.67 for regular. I want to throw up. We HAVE to drive everywhere we go, it's just not fair.

3.) There are crazy people that walk up and down Sunset boulevard who pretend to be homeless or hungry and in reality, they are neither. For instance, just the other day this scraggly guy came up to my friend and I and asked if we could spare three bucks. After denying him, he walked by again 10 minutes later and invited us to his villa. Wait, what? Five minutes ago you were telling me you couldn't afford to eat. What kind of idiot are you? Please, spare me.

4.) It is never a good idea to move into an apartment in Los Angeles without air conditioning, even if it means cheaper rent. I live in an apartment with no A/C and I was miserable the entire summer. I would sit on my couch trying to enjoy my weekend watching movies and I would do nothing but sweat. It's foul. Go for the more expensive place if it means preventing heat stroke. Trust me.

5.) While there are more jobs in general down here in the land of sun, and you may in fact get a job, you will get paid peanuts. I'm not kidding, your check might as well be Monopoly money. You could get a job in a smaller job market and make more money even if it took you two years of unemployment and living at home. Just be prepared that if you come down here looking to work in a specific industry, you better be well connected or a hard worker, because you'll never get anywhere if you're not.

6.) You will not make as many friends as you think you will make in the first year. I moved to LA hardly knowing anyone my own age and I would say it took a good six months or more before I felt like I had people I could call a "friend." Even today I don't feel like I have made that one friend that you can call whenever. They're all back in my hometown still, living at home, and holding out for that job to get paid twice as much as me.

7.) Trying to organize something fun to do with a group of people is impossible. Everyone work at the same place or go to the same gym, but they might as well live on opposite ends of the Earth, because if you live in Beverly Hills and your co-worker lives in Silver Lake, you can bet your bottom dollar you won't see them outside of the office hardly ever unless it's work related. There's just too much traffic to deal with.

8.) Everyone is doing a cleanse. And I mean everyone, which is funny, because they're also all chain smokers and recovering alcoholics. Yeah, yeah, we get it — you want to appear healthy by drinking vegetables turned into liquid form, but you're still drinking mass amounts of coffee, inhaling each other's cigarette smoke, and stressing out about a lunch meeting like the world is ending. But don't worry, you're still cool. Rock on.

9.) If it's not on your phone, it's not important. Need I say more?

10.) Everyone has a T-shirt company. I can't tell you how many random people I have met in random places and when I ask them what they do the response is, "I have a T-shirt company." That's great and so very entrepreneurial of you, but do you know that you're out there competing with 10,000 other companies that are doing the exact same thing as you? Go back to business school buddy.

So if you are thinking about moving to Los Angeles, or maybe you already have, be aware of these things. They will undoubtedly cross your path at some point during your existence in LA if they haven't already.

Lesson learned: Get to know the natives before you pitch a tent on their land and call it home.