My Father is Not My Husband

I love my dad — he's the best father a daughter could ask for.

We've always been very close throughout my growing up and he's been good to me my whole life. Since before I could walk, we've gone on an annual Christmas shopping date, which includes afternoon tea at the Heathman Hotel. We've done a lot of things together throughout the years —  dinner dates, vacations, played sports together, and more.

And as I've grown up, most of that has remained the same except for one thing, the way we look when we're together.

I'm in my mid 20's now, blonde and well dressed.

My dad looks great for his age.

You see where this is going.

So now, instead of the automatic, "You have a great daughter," or "Is it 'take your daughter shopping day?'" It's more like, "Awe, are you two enjoying your honeymoon?" or "Would you like the couples massage?"

Pause. Awkward moment passes.

Wait, yeah, still awkward.

He's my dad! C'mon people.

Photo credit: http://www.someecards.com/family-cards/dad-youve-always-been-like

My dad on the other hand loves it. Not that he necessarily goes along with it as it's happening, but when telling the story, he gives himself credit and assumes that if he did have a significantly younger wife or girlfriend that it would be believable. Meanwhile, I'm in the corner aggressively drinking wine, trying not to gag.

The honeymoon thing happened one time a couple of years ago in Hawaii. We were staying at the Hilton at Waikiki and went up to ask the woman at the concierge where there was a good local place to eat. For some reason she couldn't conceptualize our question and understand that we didn't want to eat at PF Chang's. Already confused, she then asked my dad if he and I we were on our honeymoon. Already frustrated with the woman, I looked at him and said, "I'll be in the room," and walked off.

I knew at the time that me storming off not only made us look like more of a couple, but it made us look like a fighting couple where I became upset when people assumed we were married. Weird deal. It makes a great story now, but in the moment it's always something that creates unusually long awkward silence.

After that incident, I became increasingly more aware of the way my dad and I were viewed when out in public together, especially after I moved to Los Angeles, a town swarming with Hugh Hefner wannabe's and 20-something gold diggers.

The good news is that the solution is easy: whenever I go out in public and I suspect people are looking at us like a couple, I make a point to say "Dad" a bit louder than normal.

Let's just hope someone doesn't think it's a pet name.

Lesson learned: When Christmas shopping with Dad, don't go into Victoria's Secret with him for any reason, even if you're buying hand lotion for a friend.


"Fathers, be good to your daughters. You are the god and the weight of her world."

-- John Mayer

"Daughters"

By John Mayer